No Perfect People Allowed

No Perfect People Allowed

Posted 2015-10-02 by Marie Vonowfollow
ImageMarie Vonow

One day when I was walking in the city I came across a cafe which had this sign stating, 'No perfect people allowed'. The sign got me thinking. Does anybody actually think he/she is perfect and would they think they couldn't enter the cafe? I found the sign reassuring. I am far from perfect, therefore I am 'allowed'.

Why do some people aspire to be 'perfect' in some way? What are they hoping to achieve? Do they want to do an amazing job of being a parent or in their paid employment? Do they want to inspire and motivate others by setting a high standard? Is their motive for aspiring to perfection, even if misguided, good and positive?

On the other hand, do they want to make others jealous? Do they want to be seen as physically perfect to get the attention and material things they want? Do they desire to be rich and famous?

Are they simply insecure and lacking in self esteem? Do they feel they have to be 'perfect' in some way to earn the love of others?

When I was a child I held someone in very high regard. I wanted to be just like her when I grew up but I thought that would be difficult to achieve as I believed she was perfect. I stressed about how I could be as good as her. I always felt I was failing, falling short of that perfect standard.

One day I realised she wasn't perfect. I don't recall if there was a specific event that made me come to this conclusion. Was I disappointed when I realised she wasn't perfect? Was I disillusioned? No, I wasn't, not one little bit. I was so relieved. Now, I could stop trying so hard to be perfect. As an adult I don't believe there is such a thing as 'perfect'.

The word 'perfect' is seen in magazines and other media. There is certainly plenty of pressure to look 'perfect' and dress 'perfect'. A person with a beautiful soul can waste so much energy stressing about the way she thinks others see her physically.

When it comes to what people say and do, no one gets it 'right' all the time. How can they? Different people believe different things are right and the 'rules' are not consistent. People react differently to what others say and do. There are differences in culture which will influence the way a person perceives things.

Everyone has their off days and times when they are tired or don't feel well. Everybody makes a mess of things from time to time. Sometimes there is no reason or excuse for really messing up. Hopefully you can find a funny aspect to the situation and laugh about it with a close friend.

Messing up makes us human. It helps us empathise with others and makes them feel more comfortable in our company.

If you went to a friend's house and it was 'perfect' (or as close to perfect as possible), would you enjoy your visit more? Say your friend had everything matching and looking like something out of a magazine, would you feel more at home? Personally, I am comfortable if I can just plonk myself down on the couch, after moving a few things that shouldn't be there out of the way. Anything close to perfection is likely to make me as nervous as Elizabeth visiting her neighbour, Hyacinth Bucket in Keeping Up Appearances.

I object to pressure to try to find 'the perfect present' or host 'the perfect party'. It all sounds so competitive and stressful. Can't we abandon the quest to be 'perfect people'? Let's forget about aiming for perfection in any aspect of life and just do the best we can under whatever the circumstances are. Some days simply getting through the day is good enough.


255131 - 2023-07-19 08:53:13


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