When Friendship Crosses the Line

Have you ever had one of those friends that wriggles their way into your life a bit too much? That wants to monopolise your time or avail themselves of your possessions whenever they feel like it? That only ever takes and never gives - or insists on giving a little too much?

I can thankfully say I have never experienced anything too extreme but I have had friends who took advantage of me, expecting me to babysit all the time, lend them money or drive them everywhere.

But those things were only mild in comparison to some of the stories I've heard of friendships that crossed the line into extreme intrusion - or even obsession.

There are the mildly disturbing ones, like the friend who would walk into the house at any time of the day or night without knocking - even when her friend's husband was there in his underwear, or the one who moved her junk into her friends shed without asking.

But there are more extreme cases, such as the woman who stole her friend's credit card and ran up a huge debt or the one (a next-door neighbour) who hooked up an extension cord to her friend's outdoor power outlet assuming it was ok to use her electricity.

There have even been cases where disagreements, jealousy or envy escalated into obsession, causing friends to turn against each other with tragic consequences.

Crossing the line in a friendship can happen in subtle ways and by small steps, and is often not picked up until it has gone too far. That's when it can result in conflict and hurt feelings.

So, with a new friendship as with a new relationship, we need to set our boundaries early and make it clear how familiar we want to become with the other person.

We also need to be alert to any behaviours that could be a cause for concern - even small ones.

We can still open ourselves up to a close, loyal and loving friendship but some parts of our lives should remain off-limits.



#_Relationships
#_Friends
#_Communications

%darlingshe