Ha ..so my sister made me laugh. I told her I was embarking on my first solo holiday with my 2 kids minus ex errant cheating husband of 8 years. Think positive she said, you might meet somebody special on holiday. Is she for real I thought...
So for our first trip I planned a three day holiday in a nice hotel two hours drive from where I live. I packed the boot of the car with our belongings, a battered suitcase, five plastic shopping bags full of food, the stroller for my autistic son three years old, boogie boards, dvd players and heaps of dvds for my diva nine year old daughter .... just what every hotel wants to see pulling up outside reception. We set off
I see danger in every twist and turn on the road. I am my kids everything. I am their “It” their full responsible parent. Not a day passes when I don’t think about my own mortality or theirs. These are the happy thoughts that accompany me on the drive, anyhow twenty minutes into the drive, "Mum I need to go to the toilet" We were on the freeway, no stopping for at least another 20 minutes. Eventually we found her a spot. Next half hour, as we pass that famous M sign, my son says "Maccas I like a cheeseburger" maybe 30 times in a row, again we have to stop. I spill coca cola all over myself.
Eventually we get back on the road. We find the hotel, I have those few guilt ridden moments of leaving my kids in the car by themselves while I go and check in. I catch my reflection on the way in.
My hair is frazzled, my clothes are rumpled and stained with coca cola, my eyes have that wild bug eyed look, make up well now that just slides off in a pool of worried sweat. The receptionists take their time in dealing with their customers praying they won’t have to serve this wild Irish woman.
This is where a Mark Bourhis lookalike is supposed to stop me and say "Wait - you are the woman I have been waiting for my whole life. Yes I want to spend the rest of my life looking after you and your wonderful children"
Hmm no - did not happen. This is where I am supposed to say I did meet somebody special on holiday - ME….but no the reality is, it was a milestone holiday. The good moments outweighed the bad. I proved to myself that yes we could have a good holiday just by ourselves. These are the happy memories I want to give my children. I will never be that effortless chic woman, but I do pat myself on the back for never giving up and giving it a go. I forever remain the wild eyed optimist.