I feel guilty, In blame, and convicted in and by the assumptions that surround us. I can only speak of my individual ideas and experience in society and the culture we inhabit, begrudgingly or otherwise, because it is all that I can certainly convey, though I can equally be certain in saying I am far from alone in my predicament.
My relationship with masculinity has never been comfortable one, and in fact in my experience it is exceptionally rare to find a man who is representative of the modern representation of masculinity in earnest, and who could really inhabit the emotionally inhuman, animalistic man, that is in equal measures logical and painfully incapable, an orgasm addict on the lookout for his next Ďvictimí, but come Saturday night it isnít uncommon to see the masks come on and people loosen their convictions and give their morale compass a little kick (sip) in the name of fun and sex and when in this game of attraction you see people come together, cast in their masculine and feminine counterparts, you can see transparently the pretence of it all, where there is so much space between the two for misrepresentation to run rife.
It is in this space of misrepresentation that the crux of my experience resides, I as a man am irrepressibly guilty for the history women have had to endure in their oppression, trivialisation and belittling, nobody oppressors and oppressees alike come out unscathed from inequality but it is hard to see the cultural implications of something like the male gaze and not feel utterly frustrated by its presence in informing both men and women what it is masculinity desires and the nature and motivation of those desires but more pressingly the effect it has on women in society and itís influence on the self-worth of especially though not exclusively younger women, femininity is presented as some kind of fantasy image, an unreal sensory pleasure, it is a depiction I hate and leaves me as a heterosexual male living in a state of duality, in being attracted to women I feel amongst the majority of heterosexual men in also wanting the best for them as people of human opportunity and worth, but in the language of signs and media that bridge masculinity and femininity this is a belief that is hard to convey, when it feels like a concession of masculinity, like somehow it is the representation of less of a man or worse it is interpreted as a Ďlineí to get what I want, invariably the assumption is sex. Which in turn by some endlessly cyclical joke further feeds the guilt I have as it feels as though invariably being heterosexual, however awkwardly so, to some degree allows and fuels this horrific paradigm.
As a human and a man I want nothing more than for equality but it isnít necessarily so simple to convey, men feel a certain societal stigma in supporting feminist groups, and there is a train of thought feminism must be female led to be worthwhile and in knowing the foundation of that thought it is easy to understand why, but it is in my mind inconceivable that we can identify with masculinity and femininity and find equality, I say this due to the increasingly complex history of these terms and the entirely valid variety of perspectives, which terms likes masculinity and femininity donít have the capability to represent and in this misrepresentation a stable union between the two is as likely as everyone intrinsically identifying with the representation of their gender, which is important as it serves as the context of their interaction with the world, until that is the case someone is always going to find themselves on the receiving end of the where trend of equality in culture is, in fact as it is, I see our culture heading toward that which Nikolai Tesla once predicted in being female-led, which for me definitely wouldnít be a regression, but more a recasting of roles in what I believe to be a flawed system, rather than a tangible step toward progression.
I donít blame any group or individual for the construction of this culture we inhabit, or anybodies individual means of expressing themselves within it but rather this construct itself, by creating some sort of criteria by which we can make sense of each other and ourselves we have oppressed the very essence of what makes humanity what it is, culture has since itís created been fiscally driven and I donít see any identity within our society, our culture that allows an individual the ability and the liberty to explore the entirety of the spectrum of what we as humans are capable of.
Everything in the universe is in a state of motion, the sun, the moon, mountains and seas and we are no different, I donít believe we ever truly inhabit any form of identification or remain exclusively as we identify ourselves, and we rarely if given the liberty to, feel the same on a day to day basis. I believe, hope and am desperate for equality, as Iím sure you are, and Iím excited by potential of what we could share with each other, and I believe maybe simplistically so that we can get there should we find each other regardless of our convictions or beliefs, sexuality or gender as human, nothing more or less, allowing for difference to be accepted without it being the foundation of disparity and to not believe of each other what our mediated doubles represent and by consequence, within the identity of humanity, we could cultivate the openness to express ourselves free of the anxieties of cultural concepts and fumble around learning how to, with the benefit of doubt, within a culture that claims compassion and understanding as virtuous not by exception but as the norm. I see this as being a dynamic that could build the bridge between two opposite sides, in masculinity and femininity, estranged from the ability to truly express and feel their worth to each other.
ĎIn human beings pure masculinity or femininity is not to be found in either a physiological or biological sense. Every individual on the contrary displays a mixture of the character-traits belonging to his own and to the opposite sex; and he shows a combination of activity and passivity whether or not these last character-traits tally with his biological ones.í - Sigmund Freud, Three Essays on Sexuality