These days online dating is a popular way of looking for a date, friend or relationship. I asked some men on an online dating site questions about their thoughts and experiences. The length of time the men had been using online dating ranged from a couple of weeks to using it off and on for a period of years. Some were willing to give detailed responses and showed an encouraging amount of understanding for the women they had made contact with.
What are some of the reasons for using online dating rather than heading off to a pub, club or other place for a face-to-face encounter? Some men said they are shy and feel more comfortable making the initial contact online. Once they feel more confident they are happy to progress to talking on the phone and then meeting face to face.
One man said he lived in a remote location where there are few women. He said even fewer had any interests in common with him. Another man said there weren’t any social venues locally for his age group.
Other men said they didn’t have the cash to regularly spend on drinks at the local watering hole trying to meet someone and then pay for a taxi home. Some would rather be completely sober when initiating contact. One man said he didn’t want to make decisions based on perceptions made through ‘beer goggle eyes’. Others felt it is hard to know if a woman is single when she is at the pub.
There are those who feel they are more likely to meet someone with similar interests online where they can list their hobbies in their profile. Some said they think it is unlikely they would meet someone who shares their interests at the pub. Also it was easier to streamline their search and rule out women who had shown radically different values in their profile.
Some commented it was easier to chat online than talk in a noisy pub. It is easier to be as open as the man feels comfortable with and he can remain anonymous until he feels ready to say more about himself.
One man was living in Russia and not happy there. He was online to find a wife and emigrate to another country. He indicated in his profile he had no money but was offering love and kindness. He was not concerned about the age of the woman.
What do you see as the advantages of online dating? Some said with online dating they knew everyone was looking to meet someone. Therefore women didn’t get offended if asked out on a date. Online dating avoided the awkwardness of asking a woman for a date and being ‘knocked back’ in a face-to-face situation.
Some said they liked online dating because it was easy to decide after a bit of online chat if they wanted to take it further or discontinue contact. A few men stated it was easier to chat online than talk in person in the initial stages.
One man said he liked being able to get a good night’s sleep rather than staying late at a pub and being tired the next day. He also said he liked that he didn’t have to get ‘cleaned up’ and go out after work. A couple of men said ‘easy sex’ was an advantage of online dating. It is possible others felt this too but may have chosen not to say so.
Most of the men I questioned about their online dating experiences saw more advantages than disadvantages. In Part Two I will write about the disadvantages as seen by guys.