To all those girls out there who are procrastinators, good luck to you! I truly believe that procrastination has been one of the greatest downfalls of my life thus far. I am not old, but I am not young either. I have the potential to do and be great things if I wanted to, but somehow my fears and thus my ability to procrastinate take over.
Fears are a terrible thing, especially when they are irrational, which let me tell you – most of the time they are! Imagine what you would do, what you could be capable of if you didn’t have fear? If you didn’t listen to that voice that said no or maybe or, number one in my book - I am not good enough.
I have a dream and, I have had it since I was a little girl – to be a fashion designer, have worldwide recognition and, sell my brand and clothing internationally. Not too much to ask! Haha. But the dream has always been there. And, I am a firm believer that if something is reoccurring, whatever it may be, it is for a reason. You must listen and learn. Sometimes, easier said than done.
As I embark on my journey ahead, thoughts of procrastination are a constant. And, I directly associate these thoughts with my fears. “Don’t start today because you haven’t given yourself enough time to relax this morning”, “You deserve a break”, or, a constant up until recently was, to mull and dwell in my own thoughts and misery of love and loss. Girls, let me tell you, there is always another fish in the sea. And, that fish was not for you. This will become more obvious as you allow your heart to re-open and for joy to come back into your life. Not necessarily through the form of another partner, but, love, in other ways. Socializing, laughing, enjoying the company of others and the quiet times you have alone once again. Enjoying the silence. Enjoying your youth and freedom. Once you allow your heart to re-open, procrastination will fall by the way side.
I am sitting here today, bright and alert. I feel like I have less fear and more determination. I feel like my heart is re-opened, even though sometimes it scares me to think that I have let go. My life is beautiful and I am ready to take the first step into putting my business ideas forward. I see me again. So, my advice to any girl out there that has trouble with procrastination. Ask yourself these few simple questions.
• Am I procrastinating, with anything possible, because I cannot let go of something from my past? Be honest, this is key.
• Am I procrastinating because I am afraid of succeeding in something?
• Am I procrastinating because I am afraid of disappointing myself or others?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, now is the time to ask yourself why this is so. If you are holding on to something from your past, or you have a fear of success, truly ask yourself why and write it down – be honest. Once you understand why it will be easier to make steps towards rebuilding your self-esteem, getting stronger and being able to engage with yourself and others again. Letting go of something in your past should not be something you are afraid of. That is easy for me to say but has been in the past hard for me to achieve. I was always afraid of letting go of people from my past because I felt like letting go meant that I had been defeated. And, I felt that I was letting go of something special, something that I could never gain again in the same form, and, that scared me. So girls, from my experience, my two key remedies to resolving procrastination are:
• Understand yourself. Understand why you are holding on – write it down, cry over it, own it! - Don’t be ashamed of what you have felt, sometimes we don’t have the right tools at the time to be able to react to a situation in the way we would have liked to. And, in hindsight, this is often hard to acknowledge.
Once you gain an understanding of your past and your fears, the next step is to:
• Address what needs to be addressed - what I mean by this is, say sorry, talk to the person, or sometimes, simply decide it is time to let go. Once you have made these decisions:
• Change your routine - Get some time to yourself for a few weeks if you can – remove yourself from your situation, or, simply take charge of your life in a different way, join a gym, visit old friends, or treat yourself to the movies and an ice-cream once a week..whatever floats your boat! ;)
For me a good stretch of time away from where I was living was enough for me to gain perspective and realize that I could let go. Hindsight can be a beautiful thing.
I really hope this piece, as topsy turvy as it is written, is able to help others to stop procrastinating, believe in yourself and your dreams. Fear of anything is almost always related to something in your past. In the end, whatever is causing your procrastination, in hindsight will often not be worthy of the opportunities that lie ahead of you. Trust and believe girls.