Many people meet through online dating these days. How do you get started once you have signed up for a site? There are many things to consider when setting up a profile. How much do you say? How much do you give away about yourself? How do you ‘sell’ yourself? In her book, ‘Love @ First Click. The Ultimate Guide To Online Dating,’ the author Laurie Davis, gives a lot of advice about your profile.
Davis suggests uploading a minimum of three photos, but preferably five to seven to give a complete impression of who you are. Ten is the maximum recommended and Davis says the main picture and the final one are the most important. She says it is a good idea to get professional photos taken. One or two photos should be full length. The author recommends updating the main picture every two months.
Davis gives some detailed advice about these all important photos used in your profile. Red is the colour she recommends for a woman to wear in the main picture. (I wonder about this. Personally, I love red but some women don’t. Some women wouldn’t own anything red.) While Davis recommends wearing a solid colour in your photos she says if wearing a print, a bold one looks best. Wear different outfits in the photos and have a variety of styles, some casual and others semi formal to formal. Include a couple of ‘action shots’ to show your lifestyle and vary the background of the photos. There are more tips for getting the best shots, including turn sideways to the camera with your weight on your back leg.
Now to writing the profile. Davis feels it is acceptable to get professional help writing your profile. As part of her business, eFLIRT EXPERT, Davis writes profiles for clients. She also monitors emails and advises her clients how to reply. Personally I wouldn’t want to go out with someone who was getting advice on how to respond to my messages, whether it was from his best mate, his mother or an expert. I would be very uncomfortable if my communications were being analysed by ‘an expert’. If a guy can’t ask me what I mean if my e-communication is a bit vague and if he can’t compose his own replies, he just isn’t for me. Perhaps others feel differently.
The author says it should take no longer than two minutes to read your profile. She recommends a short initial sentence to attract attention, perhaps a personal motto or quote. The profile should have an air of confidence and end on a positive note. If you are giving examples of favourite bands, most memorable movies or other interests, Davis suggests three is a good number. The writer advises to give extra detail on one or two topics with ‘a little storytelling’.
When it comes to describing your ideal match, Davis recommends using the word, ‘he’ rather than ‘you’. (I can’t remember why she feels this is important.) There is plenty of other detailed advice on writing your profile. Davis suggests trying out different sites from time to time and then going back to ones you have tried previously. She says this is a good idea especially for people who are over forty.
While some of the advice given in the book probably works, it sounded like hard work to me. I can see the sense in providing potential matches with enough information and some insights into your personality to get their interest. However, if you tried to follow all the advice I think you would either be too worried about ‘the rules’ or too exhausted by the time you had completed your profile to respond to contact requests (or make some requests yourself).