As the prospect of unemployment loomed large with the end of my contract less than two months away, I increasingly found it impossible to rely on my usual positive thoughts and strategies. The constant search for jobs and the regular lack of news from employers, and even worse still, the lack of opportunities to show them who I was and what I could do, was proving exhausting and demoralising.
Prior to this experience I had seen myself as a productive and sought after employee and previous jobs had mostly fallen into my lap through my networks. I had not ever considered that I would not be able to easily walk into a job in my middle age. I also didn't want just any job. I was expecting a job that would continue to take my career forward, develop my skills, build on my experiences ... show people who I am.
Looking back on the experience, now that I can from the comfort of having obtained a job - not the ideal one that I hoped for but a secure and solid one at least for now - I can only describe the experience as humbling. It was really a test of my tenacity, my ability to hang in despite the lack of hope I felt. The whole experience just may prove to be one of my life's most important lessons.