One of my favourite books is called, 'When I loved myself enough'. It is full of delightful statements relating to accepting and loving yourself as you are and letting go of any guilt associated with this. The author, Kim McMillen says, 'When I loved myself enough I came to see I am not special but I am unique'.
This made me think about the concept of being special. I consulted the Macmillan English Dictionary and chose the following definition of 'special' as the most relevant in this situation, 'different from and usually better than what is normal or ordinary.'
If you feel the need to be this type of 'special' in order to be accepted or loved, you are going to be competitive as you compare yourself to others and try to be better than them. Perhaps you feel the need to be 'special' so you can accept and love yourself.
When thinking about the definition of 'unique' in regard to McMillen's statement, it means 'not the same as anything or anyone else' (Macmillan English Dictionary). Well, everyone is unique because we are all individuals and we don't have to make an effort to be that way. A person can't help but be unique.
In some ways we will be similar to others but when all the aspects of an individual's personality are put together, the result is someone who is unique. That's pretty exciting and it can take the pressure off trying to compete with others or prove yourself. There is no need to try to be better than others because each person is unique.
Each individual has different values, tastes and interests. The combination of an individual's life experiences, emotional reactions to events, personality and the way they view life make that person unique.
It doesn't require conscious effort to be unique, each person just is. That means you can just get on with living your life.