This flower looks so alone as it stands out from the greenery surrounding it. Yet it looks strong and proud at the same time. This seems on first glance like a strange juxtaposition – being alone yet strong and proud. We so often think about ourselves as strongest when with others, part of a community, part of something bigger, part of a union of some sort. This can leave us feeling vulnerable if we find ourselves alone for whatever reason.
Thinking about it a bit more though perhaps we can only be truly strong when alone. With others we can become weakened, less capable, more supported and more ready to being supported. Even losing ourselves as the pack forms or our ideas become entangled with the ideas of others.
When alone we see what we can do for ourselves, without anyone else around. Being alone can bring out the strengths we didn’t know we had. It can help us to learn to trust ourselves, rely on ourselves, not others. Feeling confident alone means we can choose when and how we include others in our lives. We won’t be with others because we fear being alone. This privileges the relationships we do have if they are truly chosen.
Being alone also means we are responsible just for ourselves, not worrying about what others think or say. Doing the things we want to do, being the person we want to be, without the influence or agenda of others. We can make the decisions we need to make about our lives. We can choose to stay in the job we are in, we can choose to travel, we can choose to have our home the way we want it.
We make these decisions on our own yet can choose what input we might want from others. In the end though we choose the one that fits best with ourselves, not because someone else wants us to do it. We can then feel confident in our choices, confident with our ability to choose, confident in our ability to make a decision we can best live with.
Perhaps the ideal situation is for us to feel so confident and strong within ourselves as individuals that we can then choose who we let into our lives. Perhaps we can be best in a relationship with others when we are first strong as an individual. Knowing who we are means we can commit to, benefit from and give to, another person.