Iíve recently noticed a trend of internet articles that are negative towards Tinder. They highlight how Tinder is used by males and females for casual sex. They say it is destroying traditional dating and is based on shallow communication. Fellow Darling She writer Amber also wrote about this issue.
Tinder is a mobile phone App which connects you with people in your area by showing photos and a short description of the person. You can choose to Ďswipe rightí to the person. If they do the same youíre notified you have a Ďmatchí and can start messaging each other.
I didnít use Tinder for a long time, despite my friends encouraging me to give it a try. After a short stint on Tinder, I met my boyfriend and we have been together for about a year. What does this mean for you? Despite what you may read, you CAN find serious, monogamous love using Tinder.
The following 5 tips will help you maximise Tinderís potential to find the love of your life.
1. Be upfront about your intentions
When you sign up to Tinder you will be shown hundreds upon hundreds of possible matches. Avoid wasting time and energy on those matches who do not share the same relationship aspirations as you.
If you are looking for a long term monogamous relationship, tell potential matches this either in your profile description or in the first few messages with a match.
DO NOT think that you can turn a match looking for a casual relationship into a committed partner. Itís unlikely to happen. The better option is to spend energy getting to know your matches who are on Tinder looking for a relationship as well.
2. Be authentic. Use recent, untouched photographs
Iíve heard feedback from males that when they meet up with their female matches in real life, they are often disappointed that the female doesnít look like her photograph or has mislead them about personal details.
Have the confidence to back yourself as you are. Be genuine with the information you provide to matches, including photographs. Trying to market yourself a certain way on Tinder may get you more matches, but the right person for you is the person that accepts you as you are. By showing Tinder the true you, you will increase your chances of meeting a match who respects, appreciates and loves you.
3. Swipe left to profiles without a profile description
If the potential match canít be bothered to write a sentence about themselves, itís unlikely they are interested in a serious relationship. They may look nice and friendly, but donít bother.
The trick with Tinder is weeding out the people who will waste your time so you can focus on the people with the biggest chance of forming a relationship with.
4. Swipe left to matches who are obviously posing
Shirtless pictures, staged photographs, the muscles on display. Swipe left. These photos are targeted to the certain users of Tinder who are probably looking for something a little different to a long term relationship.
I once swiped left one hundred times in a row to potential matches. It sounds brutal but it needs to happen to get the really good matches for you.
5. If youíre not meeting decent people, take a break
Tinder can be simultaneously addictive and draining. You start with the promise of a great relationship, but may end up chatting and meeting people who are not your type. Thatís okay. Try Tinder for a few weeks. If youíre not feeling it, take a break.
Remember, new people are always signing up to Tinder and people are always deleting their accounts. By taking a break you remove yourself from the chronic Tinder users, and when you go back, there will be a whole lot more profiles to look at.
Good luck out there everyone! I hope you achieve the same level of happiness as I have. And just remember Ė I would never have met my boyfriend through traditional dating because we run in completely different cultural and social circles. Tinder allows you to get to know people you would never have the opportunity to meet in day to day life. Embrace it!
I found your article informative as I have heard of Tinder but didn't know much about it. I like your point about using 'recent untouched' photos and agreed with your reason for doing so. I have read advice suggesting the use of professional photos where everything has been done to make you look better than in real life. Yes, that might help you get the first date but it's not going to help in the long run. I think it could work against you. So glad you found real love.